Thursday, July 31, 2014

Coffee Chat 20.0 with S.K. Anthony: Chatting 'Til the Cows Come Home

I'm waiting for S.K. to arrive. At least, I think she's not here yet. Lately, I've found her visiting the animals before coming in the house. She's really spoiling Live Bacon. He has three sets of boots now! What does a pig need boots for, anyway? . . . he does seem to like them, though, and they look adorable on him.

Well, she said she had an idea for this week's chat, but she always has ideas, so I don't know if this one is normal, or another of her harebrained schemes to take over the world. I guess I'll know it when I hear it.

SK: [Walks in carrying a large shopping bag from L.L. Bacon.] Oh hey, Lynda! You're up . . . Man, the pets are growing up so fast! Anyway, I'm ready to get this ball rolling. What do you have up your sleeve this time?

ER: Ahh, here's the gal after my own heart, bringing treats for the animals and ready to swig coffee like there's no tomorrow. Nothing up my sleeve, man. You said you had the best idea EVAH—"an ace in the hole," I believe was your exact quote.

SK: Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! I did say I had an idea for today's chat, didn't I? I haven't had my coffee yet, and two heads are better than one, so I’m sure you'll help me remember what I wanted to discuss. Won’t you?

ER: Oh, you can count on me. Look on the bright side: we are always chock-full of ideas. We haven't scraped the bottom of the barrel yet—I'm sure there's an oldie but goodie we haven't used.

Sit down and have a cuppa while we put our heads together to try and remember.

SK: [Takes sip of coffee.] Ahhh, this really makes me feel like mi casa es su casa! Err, well it is your casa, but that's not the point. All right, so let's buckle down and get busy painting our nails or something. Smart cookies don't crumble and idle hands are the devil's workshop, after all.

ER: Speaking of idle hands, what have you been doing this summer? Working like a dog on your book revisions, no doubt. You seem to be burning the midnight oil on some project or another every time I talk to you.

SK: Goodness, I'm at my wits’ end with revisions. It's almost like Static has an ax to grind with me. [SK grabs Lynda’s hand and starts filing nails.]

ER: Take it easy on my hands! Those are fingernails, not sheet metal.

SK: Don’t be a big baby—no pain, no gain! I’m almost done. Either way, I'm taking it easy on Static. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know. On the other hand, I’ve been as sly as fox this summer: I'm reposting our chats on Mondays. What about you? You've been busy as a bee.

ER: I have been busy! Running around like a chicken with its head cut off, in fact. This "working outside the home" stuff? It’s for the birds. Still, I do like my job and the people I work with. They're the bomb!

I'm still editing at home, too. No time to twiddle my thumbs. [Twiddles just for the novelty of it because there is, in fact, time to twiddle thumbs on Coffee Chat days.]

I love that you're reblogging our old chats from the beginning. And did you notice? If you read between the lines, we actually make sense in some of them, believe it or not.

SK: I just hope you don't burn the candle at both ends. Sometimes you just have to stop and smell the roses with a friend over coffee and some goodies. Speaking of, what are we eating? I'm hungry as a bear.

ER: Oh, stop the crocodile tears. We have enough food here to choke a horse—you won't go hungry for long. You thought last week's bacon was great? You ain't seen nothing yet! I made blueberry crepes.

SK: What color you want on your nails? [Holds up red and black nail polish.] I thought red would suit you; the black is for me. Let’s stuff our faces first, though.

ER: [Nods.] Red does bring out the best features in my glasses. Not that I really had a choice in the matter, as usual.

I just wish you could remember what our topic was supposed to be for this week. We're not getting any younger, you know. The suspense is killing me!

SK: [Absentmindedly pours coffee into a large bowl, obviously distracted.] Eureka!

ER: Eureka?

SK: By Jove, I think I’ve got it! [Flaps hands in the air.]

ER: Do tell. [Takes bowl & pours coffee back into pot. SK never notices.]

SK: Clichés. I wanted to talk about clichés. [Sighs heavily in plops back into a chair.] And now time’s up.

ER: Well, there’s no use crying over spilled milk. It is what it is.

SK: [Instantly cheery again.] You’re right. Live and learn. Clichés aren’t all they’re cracked up to be, anyway. Let’s have more coffee—and get those crepes over here.


As always:

You can find S.K. Anthony in a number of places. She's on Twitter @SKathAnthony, her website is www.skanthony.com, her Facebook page is S Katherine Anthony, and on occasional occasions, she'll be right here with me, drinking coffee and laughing it up over our latest plans and schemes. And possibly even talking about books and writing. 

You can find me here. I'm always here. 

26 comments:

  1. "What does a pig need boots for, anyway?" Good question. I've heard of Puss in Boots, a pig in a poke, and a pig in a blanket... but never Pig in Boots.

    I noticed the abundance of cliches in this post, long before you called attention to it. Oh, what a good boy am I. I should include some cliche in this comment, I know, but I enjoy being contrary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's enough to know that you've figured us out. You're not known as the Fox for nothing.

      Pig in Boots . . . sounds like the cheapo version of a famous classic. Not nearly the best-seller they'd hoped for.

      Delete
    2. But Live Bacon likes to play in the mud, the boots are for . . . what? Am I being delusional? Ah well, at least he looks cute.

      And good for you, sly as a fox for sure!

      Delete
  2. I'll give you a jingle before . . . I don't know. My head hurts now.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We need to put a disclaimer at the bottom of our chats: "May cause unpleasant side effects, including but not limited to headache, nausea, loss of grey cells, and spontaneous incontinence."

      Delete
    2. Um . . . not like that pre-planned incontinence you hear so much about these days.

      Delete
    3. The disclaimer is a good idea, but isn't more fun to surprise our readers with their own bodies?

      And since Janie's been here, she now has ongoing sneeze-or-not- automatic bodily function issues . . .

      Delete
  3. I don't typically use cliches because I get mixed up on them. I didn't even know it's "By Jove." I might've guessed, "By Job" (Biblical Job). Silly me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe the "by Jove" thing stems from Jove/Jupiter, sort of like saying, "Good golly!" only with homage to Roman gods. Not sure how that evolved into "by George!" and am still wondering who George may have been, and why he was so influential, yet none of us know him. Now, Job . . . well, everyone knows him. Now my head hurts, too. Typical side effect of trying to make sense of what I'm talking about. :)

      Delete
    2. I think that by Jove changed to By George because someone didn't want to be accused of worshiping pagan gods so they picked a name close and ended up with George. You know those hot irons on the soles of your feet can make you think quick.

      Delete
    3. I'm just going with "yes" here . . . o_0

      Delete
  4. Eureka was also a great television show!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gee, and I thought Archimedes was long dead before TV came along. I learn something new every day. :)

      Delete
    2. Come on Lynda, Archimedes invented television right after the steam cannon and microwaves.

      Delete
    3. Yes, Alex!

      (I think the other two have their own conversation going . . . )

      Delete
  5. Oh, how I ground my teeth through this post. I think "It is what it is" may be the most useless words ever strung together. When someone says "Well, it is what it is," and treats it like they just added something of value to the conversation, I instantly assume they have brain damage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it makes you feel any better (and it may not), we ground our teeth as we wrote it. "It is what it is" comes second in my mind only to "it's all good"—which, in my mind, means, "Shut up now. I'm not going to deal with whatever you're saying."

      Delete
    2. It's all good guys, the post has already been written with cliches all ovah dah place. It is what is is, okay? Now lets all take easy on our teeth.

      Delete
  6. A girl nail polishing party? With crepes? You are out doing yourselves, but guess it is what it is, right? Off to grind teeth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL no grinding teeth. I say at this point we should just drink and let it slide!

      Delete
    2. At least SK hasn't started polishing AndyAndy's claws. I should count my blessings.

      Delete
  7. ah! so this is the other half of the coffee chats! nice to meet you! and thanks for the fun banter!

    btw, thanks also for stopping by my broken branch falls blog tour at C. Lee's!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is where the magic happens, yepper. And by "magic," I mean insanity. They're very closely related.

      Your tour sounds like a lot of fun!

      Delete
  8. and i feel like we've met before, so forgive my bad memory!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think we have, but I'm mysterious like that. Not your fault. I've been practicing my mind-wipe techniques.

      Delete

I love comments, and will always answer them, partly because I like having the last word and partly because I just like getting to know the people who read my blog. (Note: if the post is more than a couple weeks old, your comment will automatically go into the "needs approval" folder, but I will still publish it and reply!)