Thursday, September 11, 2014

Coffee Chat 23.0 with S.K. Anthony: The Loudermilks Band

[Shake, shake, shake.]
Oh good morning everyone! I'm waiting on Lynda. How is it she manages to be late in her own house? Anyway, gimme a second. [Frowns.]

ER: [Yawning.] I was dreaming there was a rattlesnake on my pillow, and I kept backing away but it kept rattling at me with the strangest rhythm pattern. Huh. Coffee will make it all better. [Looks at SK with dawning horror.] What do you have in your hands?

SK: This is so weird! I thought I'd return the maracas you loaned me, so I went out and bought myself a new set, but they must be broken. Look. [Shakes maracas.] What's that noise?

ER: That's the sound . . . um . . . that other types of maracas make. The imported kind. [Shifts uncomfortably.] You know those crazy foreign maraca players, always trying to get attention for themselves. You really didn't have to give mine back—they were especially suited for your style of playing.

SK: I know you made them special for me, but like it these. Look, they’re black and blue and have our pictures on them!

ER: Ohh! Those are pretty!

SK: The only problem is the music is awful. I think you have to tune these up too. Oh, and I like that I have my own style of playing! That's so cool. But what's my specialty?

ER: You think the music is what's awful? Never mind. If I had to pin it down, I'd say your specialty is dancing. And you should probably stick to the maracas I loaned you; they appeal to the finest of musical palettes. Truly. [Takes maracas from S.K.'s hands and quickly hides them while she's filling the coffee mugs.]

So what on earth were you trying to do, anyway? The Loudermilks won't be going on tour for a few more months.

SK: Well, I just needed something easy to do. Writing books is kicking my butt so I’m exploring my other natural talents. That’s all.

ER: Your natur—right . . . well, we still haven't found the rest of the band members. You'd think they were actually trying to not be found or something.

SK: Well everyone gets busy. Should we put out a notice for new members? We can always play a video of an actual concert on a big screen and dance in front for our tour. That's what you musicians do all the time, right?

ER: Oh, yeah. [Rolls eyes.] All the time. There's no practicing or learning an instrument. We all just dance in front of a big screen of someone else's concert.

Haven't you ever heard the phrase "practice makes perfect"? It's no different for musicians than it is for authors.

I think I'm sensing sarcasm here . . . but I need more coffee before I decide if it was. Hey, I could swear I left my maracas on the table . . . where are they? [Frowns.] Anyway, so when I find them, you're saying we have to practice, revise, edit, and beta?

ER: The procedure is pretty much the same for any product. And yes, the Loudermilks' music is a product, just like any book. You choose what you're going to do. You practice. You practice more. You revise. You beta by asking others for their honest opinions—uh, like whether you should use the "special" maracas or store-bought ones with stuff inside—revise again, put the final edit/polish on it, and boom. A terrific result comes blasting out of the cannon.

SK: It will be easy since we're both so talented. I just hope the other members we find are just as good. What do you think? More authors or more musicians? I think we can go either way since it's pretty much the same product.

ER: I can't imagine we'd sound any better or any worse, no matter which group we'd choose from. Just prepare to work hard if you expect me to go out on stage with you.

SK: For sure! But by hard work you mean drink coffee, right? Because I have a surprise for you!

ER: Oh dear . . .

SK: [Pulls Lynda outside the kitchen door.] Ta-da! I present to you our newest band members! Donkey will play the bells around his neck, Live Bacon will carry the singing banana, and AndyAndy will play the drums.

ER: Against my better judgment I’ll ask probably the most disturbing question: a singing banana?

SK: Yeah he’s our lead vocalist and lyricist. He’s really good. Look:

Ooh, I suddenly want a PB&J sandwich. Want one?

ER: Oh, SK . . .

As always:

You can find S.K. Anthony in a number of places. She's on Twitter @SKathAnthony, her website is, her Facebook page is S Katherine Anthony, and on occasional occasions, she'll be right here with me, drinking coffee and laughing it up over our latest plans and schemes. And possibly even talking about books and writing. 

You can find me here. I'm always here. 


  1. I want to be in the band, but none of the peanut butter and jelly crap.


    1. Well, fine we can get rid of the PB&J madness if you join. Lynda will take over lead vocalist. . . she's not as talented as the banana but she'll do. [Shrugs]

      (Jokes aside, her voice really is amazing! That chick can sing! :D )

    2. I wouldn't knock the PB&J. That banana taught me everything I know.

  2. [Insert really clever comment here. I'm tired.]

    1. [The Silver Fox: who put crack in SK's coffee?]

      Oh, Mr. Fox, the banana did it.

    2. Don't get too attached to the banana. He's going to be muffins next time.

      Silver Fox, you're still clever even when tired. You can come over to my kitchen to relax. And by "relax" I mean drink a lot of coffee and laugh. You'll forget your tiredness in no time.

    3. Sounds like fun. Interesting definition of "relax" when it involves a huge caffeine intake. Ha. But I need something to take me out of this pit I've been in lately. :)

  3. Funny when Brian from Family Guy does the Peanut Butter Jelly Time song!
    You're forming a band? Should I be worried?

    1. I had to Youtube Brian doing it! lol

      And the band has been formed for a while, the problem is . . . well, I suck. So yes, be very worried *while* enjoying our concert. :)

    2. Alex, you should only be worried if we want to join YOUR band.

  4. I you need band members just let my "Marketing Associates" know they will help you out. The PB&J song is cool when you don't want to have to think. When your band is in Denver let me know I'll make sure it sells out.

    1. No wonder we like it; we never want to have to think.

  5. Holy Maracas! A band?
    Here's a joke for you.
    Three souls appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter asked the first one, "What was your last annual salary?" The soul replied, "$200,000; I was a trial lawyer." St. Peter asked the second one the same question. The soul answered, "$95,000; I was a realtor." St. Peter then asked the third soul the same question. The answer was "$8,000." St. Peter immediately said, "Cool! What instrument did you play?"
    Still keen on the band idea?

    1. Michelle, that describes every musician I know. We must actually love what we do or something crazy like that.

  6. A band? Maracas with a snaky sound? All of this and peanut butter, jelly and bananas? Sorry, this post has shredded my sanity. And no comments about "there wasn't much of that anyway" okay?

    1. So . . . uh . . . if there are no sanity comments, I'm all out of ideas . . .


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